You hear the siren song of the road less traveled. Perhaps you want to teach English in Indonesia. Maybe you’ve resolved to join protests decrying a social injustice, or feel called to volunteer for a cause core to your values. It could be that you’re hungry for meaning, growth, and adventure, and are not convinced diving straight...Read More
If you are about to cross the finish line of high school (and even if you’re a bit behind or beyond that mark), you may be contemplating taking a gap year. What is a gap year? What is(n’t) it good for? Is it for you? How you answer these questions could change the course of...Read More
One of the main ways we feel close to other people is by bonding over common interests, but what do you do when you want to bond over something that you don’t have in common? Is there someone in your life who you care deeply about, who is passionate about something that you aren’t? Since...Read More
How can we grow closer to others? By reciprocating trust and respect. In other words, I need to know that you have my back, and you have to feel that I believe in you. This is why giving and receiving good news is so beneficial for relationships (for more, see How to Be Great at...Read More
Samiha is a college freshman. Despite coming from a home with limited financial resources, Samiha was able to develop her artistic talents through part-time work in a local shop where she made weekly changes to the display window. With the help of a school counselor Samiha created an art portfolio and was accepted to a...Read More
What do you do when you really want to share a personal achievement with someone but there’s a conflict? It can greatly intensify our pleasure and satisfaction to celebrate a success with someone else. How can you enjoy that, without appearing arrogant or off-putting? In our first How to Be Great at Relating blogpost, Carlos...Read More
Has someone else’s good news ever made you feel bad about yourself? Even if you are glad for their happiness, it can be tough to admit that you aren’t 100% thrilled. In high school, some friends of mine decided to do early decision to college. I remember one of them coming to me (I’ll call...Read More
Being a skilled listener is an essential step in becoming an excellent listener. But it is not enough. To graduate to the next level of mastery, you must help the speaker feel listened to and understood. It’s not necessarily easy to guide how the speaker experiences your listening. That’s why this more advanced skill is...Read More
To understand what someone is trying to tell you, listening to words alone isn’t enough. Most children communicate with gestures long before they speak. Even as we get older, we continue to communicate mostly through our bodies. I remember my younger cousin Opal watching sign language videos when she was two years old. Opal wasn’t...Read More
In the TV show The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Kimmy advises her friend Titus to feign listening to something boring by imagining that the speaker’s mouth and eyes are flipped. Kimmy claims that this makes her appear interested (or morbidly fascinated), but this distracting fantasy certainly does NOT help her to listen! That’s because it’s all...Read More
