One principle that anchors empathetic cultures is “Don’t Talk About Me Without Me.” This concept, rooted in advocacy for marginalized groups, is a call to empathy and to center people in conversations that affect them.
Why should you embrace this principle to transform cultural dynamics? Empathy is foundational for creating a culture where all individuals feel safe, valued, and understood.
1. Build Psychological Safety
When decisions are made about someone without their input, trust erodes, and people retreat into silence, self-preservation, or disengagement. Psychological safety, defined as the belief that one can speak up without fear of punishment or humiliation, is a cornerstone of high-performing teams.
- Inclusion in Decision-Making: Ensure that people are present for discussions about their roles, performance, or needs. For example, rather than assuming what support a person with a disability might need, invite them to co-create solutions.
- Transparency: Communicate openly about when and why someone’s input will be sought, and commit to valuing their perspective.
- Feedback Loops: Establish regular check-ins where people can voice concerns about decisions that impact them.
When people feel heard and involved, their sense of safety grows, and they are more likely to contribute meaningfully to the team.
2. Embrace Diverse Psychological Richness
Psychological richness refers to the vibrancy and depth of life experiences shared within a group. It’s about more than noticing diversity in demographics; it’s about actively valuing and learning from the stories, struggles, and insights that each person brings to the table.
- Acknowledge Expertise: Everyone is the expert of their own experience. Respecting this truth not only ensures better decision-making but also enriches the collective understanding of the group.
- Ask Before Assuming: Instead of relying on stereotypes or assumptions, engage with individuals directly to learn how their unique experiences shape their needs and goals.
- Celebrate Stories: Encourage team members to share their journeys and challenges in safe, structured ways, such as storytelling sessions or cultural exchange events.
By involving individuals in their narratives, you create a tapestry of perspectives that makes work more dynamic, innovative, and human.
3. Expand Openness to Others’ Needs and Experiences
Openness is the willingness to acknowledge that others may have needs or experiences that differ from our own—and treating this with value. It’s also about kindling curiosity and setting aside preconceived notions while being ready to learn, adapt, and grow.
- Active Listening: Approach conversations with curiosity, not judgment. When someone shares their needs or concerns, listen fully before responding.
- Shared Ownership of Solutions: Co-design workplace policies or accommodations with the people they will affect. At work, for example, involve employees in crafting flexible work policies that consider caregiving responsibilities or chronic health conditions.
- Continuous Learning: Encourage ongoing education about cultural competence, unconscious bias, and inclusive communication.
Openness is a practice, not a destination. By consistently engaging individuals in matters that impact them, you cultivate a culture of respect and empathy.
The Ripple Effects of Empathy
When we prioritize the principle of “Don’t Talk About Me Without Me,” we create environments where people feel seen and respected. This fosters deeper connections, greater trust, and a willingness to bring one’s full self to work and community.
How can you commit to embedding this principle into your daily interactions? It’s not a one-time action but an ongoing practice of curiosity, humility, and respect. The reward? A workplace and community where empathy isn’t just an idea—it’s a lived experience where everyone has a seat at the table and a voice in the conversation. Who will you listen to today?
