Rowan arrived at college with the kind of “she’s got this” record that lets adults relax. She had been a strong student, a reliable friend, and the person her high school theater teacher trusted to run the light board. People described her as organized, and in many ways she was. Her room was neat, her...Read More
Why do predictable routines, meaningful choices, and time to themselves matter? In late elementary school, children are becoming increasingly capable of managing their responsibilities, making decisions, and recognizing what helps them function well. They still need adults to provide the conditions in which those abilities can develop. When a child asks for more consistent schedules,...Read More
Trying to motivate a teenager can feel like training a cat to fetch: Possible?? And exhausting, confusing, and wishful. You remind them again that they need to do their homework or need to unload the dishwasher. What do you get in return? A dramatic sigh so deep it could alter wind patterns, or maybe a...Read More
When parents remain a student’s source of urgency, memory, consequences, and follow-through, parenting becomes exhausting. It can keep anxiety and conflict high, right when what you want is less reminding, less negotiating, and more independence for your student. Structure can help. Its goal is to make parents feel less necessary (in a good way) and...Read More
We often assume that exploring thoughts and feelings with someone who is stuck will stir them to movement. We offer suggestions, as if the path ahead is obvious: Why don’t you just _________? Have you tried __________? What about __________? With an anxious person, though, especially one who could be prone to rumination or catastrophic...Read More
Listen to this content as a podcast: Seeking a diagnosis for mental health or learning challenges can be life-changing. It offers the chance to better understand one’s struggles and unlock doors to support and success. Yet, for many, the prospect is deeply uncomfortable. This resistance, while frustrating for loved ones, often has understandable roots. A...Read More
A great paradox of executive function is that many struggling people are unknowingly creating queues of future work they will never do. Consider the humble sticky note. The work on it has been mentally tagged for future attention. Each decision to act in the future feels responsible and checks the mental box of “working on...Read More
You have probably heard at some point that multitasking is a myth. Decades of research have shown that when people try to perform two attention-demanding tasks at the same time, performance on both suffers. Errors increase and speed decreases. The issue is not that the brain cannot do two things at once. It is that...Read More
An InTensions™ Perspective on Mid and Later-Career Transitions A Quiet Shift Many People Notice At some point in a long professional life, many people notice a quiet shift. People they once supported enthusiastically, by cheering them on, opening doors, and amplifying their work, seem less present. Messages slow. Invitations taper. Attention moves elsewhere. It can...Read More
There is a kind of grief that rarely gets named. It isn’t the grief of loss through death or a broken relationship. It is the grief that arrives through comparison. It happens when you see a someone else’s life unfolding around you: friends pairing off, careers accelerating, families forming. Suddenly your own life feels like...Read More
