Researchers have found that people use four key styles of responding to the good news of another person. Do you know yours? Imagine that your child has just told you they’ve been picked to be the soloist in the online choir. That’s epic! Think about how you could respond to them: “That’s great.” (It’s polite but...Read More
“I should have been a career girl.” My mother said this nearly every day as she carried laundry to the washer, wiped fingerprints off the bathroom mirrors and vacuumed up the bits of grass we tracked in on bare feet. She resented the boss who fired her when she became pregnant and the children who...Read More
What are you doing for self-help during this crazy time? Maybe it’s eating healthier, finding regular sleep rhythms or getting outside more. Brene Brown challenges us to “Dare greatly.” Elizabeth Gilbert entreats us to: “Be the weirdo who dares to enjoy.” But it doesn’t have to be weird or dangerous to have fun, and it...Read More
Let’s set the scene. Like many super-involved parents, you’ve been checking the school portal, keeping up with your child’s daily performance. There it is. You’ve been waiting for this moment. On the page before you is proof that your kid can be a high achiever. It’s a big jump in the English grade! You may be...Read More
People often count on random positive events to help get them through the day. But close to half of our well-being can be affected by intentional activities, like setting goals, making choices, and developing self-regulation. So does this mean that good things in your life are not all random? Well, as a matter of fact,...Read More
Has someone else’s good news ever made you feel bad about yourself? Even if you are glad for their happiness, it can be tough to admit that you aren’t 100% thrilled. In high school, some friends of mine decided to do early decision to college. I remember one of them coming to me (I’ll call...Read More
Being a skilled listener is an essential step in becoming an excellent listener. But it is not enough. To graduate to the next level of mastery, you must help the speaker feel listened to and understood. It’s not necessarily easy to guide how the speaker experiences your listening. That’s why this more advanced skill is...Read More
To understand what someone is trying to tell you, listening to words alone isn’t enough. Most children communicate with gestures long before they speak. Even as we get older, we continue to communicate mostly through our bodies. I remember my younger cousin Opal watching sign language videos when she was two years old. Opal wasn’t...Read More
In the TV show The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Kimmy advises her friend Titus to feign listening to something boring by imagining that the speaker’s mouth and eyes are flipped. Kimmy claims that this makes her appear interested (or morbidly fascinated), but this distracting fantasy certainly does NOT help her to listen! That’s because it’s all...Read More
Imagine that you really want to tell someone something that is important to you. Picture telling the whole story to a friend (we’ll call her Gwen) who lets you tell your tale unhurried from beginning to end. Gwen faces you, leaning in and making eye contact, her facial expressions and gestures perfectly responsive to your...Read More
